Management Review of Writing Style


Question: How many feet do mice have?

Original reply: Mice have four feet.
Mgmt. Comment: Elaborate!

Revision 1: Mice have five appendages, and four of them are feet.
Mgmt. Comment: No discussion of fifth appendage!

Revision 2: Mice have five appendages; four of them are feet and one is a tail.
Mgmt. Comment: What? Feet with no legs?

Revision 3: Mice have four legs, four feet and one tail per unit-mouse.
Mgmt. Comment: Confusing -- is that a total of 9 appendages?

Revision 4: Mice have four leg-foot assemblies and one tail assembly per body.
Mgmt. Comment: Does not fully discuss the issue!

Revision 5: Each mouse comes equipped with four legs and a tail. Each leg is equipped with a foot at the end opposite the body; the tail is not equipped with a foot.
Mgmt. Comment: Descriptive? Yes. Forceful? NO!

Revision 6: Allotment appendages for mice will be: Four leg-foot assemblies, one tail. Deviation from this policy is not permitted as it would constitute misapportionment of scarce appendage assets.
Mgmt. Comment: Too authoritative; stifles creativity!

Revision 7: Mice have four feet; each foot is attached to a small leg joined integrally with the overall mouse structural sub-system. Also attached to the mouse sub-system is a thin tail, non-functional and ornamental in nature.
Mgmt. Comment: Too verbose/scientific. Answer the question!

FINAL REVISION APPROVED BY MANAGEMENT: Mice have four feet.