Office Romance
It has come to my attention that several employees may be engaged in interoffice
romance. The only problem I have with this is that it has come to my attention! If
you're screwing around with each other, fine! Just don't let it interfere with the
operations of the company.
For example, during our monthly progress meetings, it certainly does not help matters
when half of you are playing footsy. You think I am unaware of this? After 27 years
in business, I know what the glazed-over expression of a person playing footsy looks
like! Also, don't think that I don't notice when you stand up with your folders in front
of your waists, gentlemen. I've been there.
So, in order to facilitate an atmosphere more conducive to work and less conducive to
romance, we will be replacing every table, wall, and desk with a plexiglass verson of
the same. Even my own office will be open for all to see. Also, we will be keeping
several "company suites" at the closest hotel, so that you may take your affairs
elsewhere during lunch or non-business hours. I hope these new policies contribute to
a happier, more productive work environment.