Why Is Business So Absurd?

  1. A major technology company simultaneously rolled out two new programs: (1) a random drug testing program, and (2) an "Individual Dignity Enhancement" program.
  2. A company purchased laptop computers for employees to use while traveling. Fearing they might get stolen, the managers came up with a clever solution: permanently attach the laptop computers to the employees' desks.
  3. A freight company reorganized to define roles and clarify goals. Management decided to communicate the changes by ordering each department to build floats for a "Quality Parade."
  4. A manager at a telecommunications company wanted to reinforce the "team" concept in his department. He held a meeting to tell the assembled "team" that henceforth he will carry a baseball bat with him at all times and each team member will carry a baseball while at work. Some team members found a way to hang the baseball around their necks so they don't have to carry it. Others fantasized about wrestling the bat away from the manager and using it.
  5. A company decided that instead of raises it will give bonuses if five of seven company goals are met. At the end of the year the employees are informed that they have met only four of seven goals, so no bonuses. One of the goals they missed was "employee morale."