The Top 10 Complaints of the Romulan Intelligence Agency
- Federation keeps smuggling loads of "Coed Naked Parise's Squares" T-shirts to Romulan universities.
- Every other officer is a clone of Tasha Yar.
- "Romulan" is an anagram for "unmoral".
- Shoulder pads on our new uniforms are so big we look like a Vulcanoid version of the Green Bay Packers.
- Commissary at Agency HQ serves watered-down Romulan ale.
- Ever since we blew up our own Vulcan invasion force, it's been impossible to get volunteers for the next one.
- Name "Enterprise" sounds suspiciously like Romulan phrase "enn t'rp reis" meaning "your mother sucks eggs".
- All of Sela's big plans work about as well as lead balloons.
- Stole the blueprints for the Federation's proposed Escher class starship, but can't make head nor tail out of them.
- $800 million credit cloaked surveillance satellite in Earth orbit was supposed to monitor Starfleet HQ, but only picks up MTV instead.