The Top 10 Secrets about the Enterprise and its Crew

  1. All routine maintenance on the ship is done by Oompa-Loompas
  2. Dr. Pulaski was sealed alive in a seldom used Jefferies tube by Data after she insulted him one too many times
  3. Riker's parents were Nazis, his middle initial "T" stands for "Third"
  4. Troi starts all counseling sessions with male crew members by asking "So, is that a phaser rifle in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"
  5. Before joining Starfleet, Jean-Luc Picard was a Chippendale's dancer
  6. "Worf" is Klingonese for "pinhead"
  7. Riker amuses himself by signing all reports with the abbreviation "F. Off."
  8. Geordi is taking a shuttlecraft apart and mailing it home piece by piece
  9. Picard is Wesley's father
  10. Due to a time travel accident, Wesley is Picard's father