Product Warnings

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed by stupidity, here are some actual label instructions found on consumer goods:
  1. On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
  2. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special.)
  3. On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
  4. On a Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion.)
  5. On Tesco's tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom of box): Do not turn upside-down.
  6. On Marks & Spencer bread pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
  7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
  8. On Boot's children's cough medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
  9. On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness.
  10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
  11. On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
  12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
  13. On an American Airlines packet of peanuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
  14. On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one.)
  15. On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."