Old * Never Die, They Just...
  1. OLD ACADEMICS never die, they just lose their faculties
  2. OLD ACCOUNTANTS never die, they just lose their balance
  3. OLD ACCOUNTS never die, they are deleted
  4. OLD ACTORS never die, they just drop a part
  5. OLD ALCAHOLICS/DRUG ADDICTS never die, they just get wasted
  6. OLD ANTHROPOLOGISTS never die, they just become history
  7. OLD ARCHERS never die, they just bow and quiver
  8. OLD ARCHITECTS never die, they just lose their structures
  9. OLD ASSETS never die, they just depreciate
  10. OLD ASTRONAUTS never die, they just go to another world
  11. OLD ATOMS never die, they just decay
  12. OLD BANKERS never die, they just lose interest
  13. OLD BANKERS never die, they just want to be a loan
  14. OLD BASEBALL PLAYERS never die, they just go batty
  15. OLD BASEBALL PLAYERS never die, they just run their last lap
  16. OLD BASKETBALL players never die, they just go on dribbling
  17. OLD BEEKEEPERS never die, they just buzz off
  18. OLD BIKERS never die, but they're hard on tires
  19. OLD BIOLOGISTS never die, they just ferment away
  20. OLD BLONDES never fade, they just dye away
  21. OLD BOOKKEEPERS never die, they just lose their figures
  22. OLD BOOKS never die, they just go out-of-print
  23. OLD BOWLERS never die, they just end up in the gutter
  24. OLD BRAKES never die, they just grind down
  25. OLD BRIDGE PLAYERS never die, they just lose their finesse
  26. OLD BRIDGE PLAYERS never die, they just sit around on their fat aces
  27. OLD BUDGETS never die, they are fillibustered
  28. OLD BUREAUCRATS never die, they just waste away
  29. OLD BURGLARS never die, they just steal away
  30. OLD BUSINESSES never die, they just get consolidated
  31. OLD CANNERS never die, they are preserved
  32. OLD CARS never die, they just get run into the ground
  33. OLD CASHIERS never die, they just check out
  34. OLD CHAUFFEURS never die, they just lose their drive
  35. OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just do it inorganically
  36. OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just fail to react
  37. OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just lose their refluxes
  38. OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just reach equilibrium
  39. OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just smell that way
  40. OLD CLEANING PEOPLE never die, they just kick the bucket
  41. OLD COMPOSERS never die, they just decompose
  42. OLD COMPUTER PEOPLE never die, they just lose their memory
  43. OLD COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS never die, they just byte the dust
  44. OLD COOKS never die, they just get deranged
  45. OLD COURIERS never die, they just keep on EXPRESSing it!
  46. OLD CREDIT CARDS never die, they just expire
  47. OLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get bowled over
  48. OLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get smashed for six
  49. OLD DANCERS never die, they just step away
  50. OLD DAREDEVILS never die, they just get discouraged
  51. OLD DEANS never die, they just lose their faculties
  52. OLD DENTISTS never die, they just lose their pull
  53. OLD DIETERS never die, they just waist away
  54. OLD DIVERS never die, they just extend their bottom time
  55. OLD DIVERS never die, they just flop
  56. OLD DIVERS never die, they just get board
  57. OLD DIVERS never die, they just lose their spring
  58. OLD DOCTORS never die, they just lose their patience
  59. OLD EDITORS do it with a red pen
  60. OLD ELECTRICAL ENGINEERS never die, they just have slower rise times
  61. OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just do it until it Hz
  62. OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just lose contact
  63. OLD ENERGIZER BUNNIES never die, they go on, and on, and on...
  64. OLD ENGINEERS never die, they just lose their bearings
  65. OLD ENGLISH MAJORS do it with Strunk and White
  66. OLD ENVIRONMENTALISTS never die, they are just recycled
  67. OLD ESKIMOES never die, they just get cold feet
  68. OLD ESKIMOES never die, they just go cold
  69. OLD EXORCISTS never die, they just give up the ghost
  70. OLD FARMERS never die, they just go to seed
  71. OLD FARMERS never die, they just spade away
  72. OLD FATHERS never die, they just become grandfathers
  73. OLD FISHERMEN never die, their rods just go limp
  74. OLD FISHERMEN never die, they just get reel tired
  75. OLD FISHERMEN never die, they just smell that way
  76. OLD FOOTBALL PLAYERS never die, they just go to the end zone
  77. OLD FOOTBALLERS never die, they just kick the bucket
  78. OLD FORESTERS never die, they just pine away
  79. OLD FRIDGE REPAIRMEN never die, they just blow their cool
  80. OLD FROGS never die, they just croak
  81. OLD FRUIT never die, it just pear-ishes
  82. OLD GARAGEMEN never die, they just retire
  83. OLD GEOLOGISTS never die, they just petrify
  84. OLD GEOLOGISTS never die, they just recrystalize
  85. OLD GHOST TOWNS never die, they become desolate
  86. OLD GOLFERS never die, they just lose their balls
  87. OLD GOLFERS never die, they just lose their drive
  88. OLD GRAPHIC ARTISTS never die, they just de-rez
  89. OLD GYMNASTS never die, they just take longer to mount
  90. OLD HAMS never die, they just get grounded
  91. OLD HARDWARE ENGINEERS never die, they just cache in their chips
  92. OLD HELSINKI TOURISTS never die, they just vanish into Finn Air
  93. OLD HIKERS never die, they just trail away
  94. OLD HIPPIES never die, they just smell that way
  95. OLD HOCKEY PLAYERS never die, they just achieve their final goal
  96. OLD HOMEBREWERS never die, they just ferment away
  97. OLD HUNTERS never die, they just stay LOADED
  98. OLD HYPOCHONDRIACS never die, they just imagine it
  99. OLD HYPOCHONDRIACS never die, they just lose their grippe
  100. OLD IMMORTALS [vampires, whatever] never die, they just...don't
  101. OLD INTERPRETERS (for the deaf) never die, they just sign off
  102. OLD INVESTORS never die, they just roll over
  103. OLD JOKES never die, they just get retold by the young
  104. OLD JOURNALISTS never die, they just get de-pressed
  105. OLD KAYAKERS never die, they just roll back over, and do it again
  106. OLD KEY PUNCH OPERATORS never die, they just punch out
  107. OLD KIDS never die, they just adulterate
  108. OLD KIDS never die, they just grow up
  109. OLD KNIGHTS IN CHAIN MAIL never die, they just shuffle off their metal coils
  110. OLD LASER PHYSICISTS never die, they just become incoherent
  111. OLD LAWYERS never die, they just lose their appeal
  112. OLD LAWYERS never die, they just lose their briefs
  113. OLD LIBRARIANS never die, their computers have Fatal Errors
  114. OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just check out
  115. OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just get re-shelved
  116. OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just lose their references
  117. OLD LIGHT BULBS never die, they just blink out
  118. OLD LIMBO DANCERS never die, they just go under
  119. OLD LINGUISTS never die, they just rearrange their deep structures
  120. OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just disappear
  121. OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just float away
  122. OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just make a big production of it
  123. OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just they just change color
  124. OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just they're just fooling themselves
  125. OLD MAIDS count on fingers, but young girls count on legs
  126. OLD MATH TEACHERS never die, they just reduce to lowest terms
  127. OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just disintegrate
  128. OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just go off on a tangent
  129. OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just lose some functions
  130. OLD MEDIUMS never die, they are just visiting their friends
  131. OLD MERCENARIES never die, they find someone else to take their place
  132. OLD MERCENARIES never die, they just go to hell to regroup
  133. OLD METEORS never die, they just burn up
  134. OLD MILKMAIDS never die, they just lose their whey
  135. OLD MINISTERS never die -- they just go out to pastor
  136. OLD MP's never die, they just attain peerage
  137. OLD MUSICIANS never die, they just decompose
  138. OLD MUSICIANS never die, they just get played out
  139. OLD MUSICIANS never die, they just go from bar to bar
  140. OLD NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS never die, they just go off-line
  141. OLD NUMERICAL ANALYSTS never die, they just get disarrayed
  142. OLD OWLS never die, they just don't give a hoot
  143. OLD PACIFISTS never die, they just go to peaces
  144. OLD PARADOXES never die, they just become enigmas
  145. OLD PHOTOGRAPHERS never die, they get sent to the old focus home
  146. OLD PHOTOGRAPHERS never die, they just stop developing
  147. OLD PILOTS never die, they just buzz off
  148. OLD PILOTS never die, they just go to a higher plane
  149. OLD PLANETS never die, they just lose their attraction
  150. OLD PLASTIC never dies, they just recycle it
  151. OLD PLUMBERS never die, they just go down the drain
  152. OLD POLICEMEN never die, they just cop out
  153. OLD POSTAL CARRIERS never die, they just lose their zip
  154. OLD PRINTERS never die, they're just not the type
  155. OLD PROGRAMMERS never die, they just byte it
  156. OLD PROGRAMMERS never die, they just decompile
  157. OLD PROGRAMMERS never die, they just get bugged with life
  158. OLD PROGRAMMERS never die, they just go to bits
  159. OLD PROGRAMMERS never die, they just lose their memory
  160. OLD PROGRAMMERS never die, they just move to new addresses
  161. OLD PROGRAMMING WIZARDS never die, they just recurse
  162. OLD PROPANE TANKS never die, they just run out of gas
  163. OLD PROSITUTES never die, they just fake away...
  164. OLD PUNTERS never die, they just go horse
  165. OLD QUARTERBACKS never die, they just fade back and pass away
  166. OLD QUILTERS never die, they just go to pieces
  167. OLD QUILTERS never die, they just go under cover
  168. OLD RADIOS never die, they just stop receiving
  169. OLD RAILROADERS never die, they just derail
  170. OLD RAIN PUDDLES never die, they just dry up
  171. OLD SAILORS never die, they just get a little "DINGHY"
  172. OLD SAILORS never die, they just lose their porpoise
  173. OLD SALESMEN never die, they just go out of commission
  174. OLD SCHOOLS never die, they just lose their principals
  175. OLD SCOTS never die, but they can be kilt
  176. OLD SCULPTORS never die, they just lose their marbles
  177. OLD SEAMSTRESSES never die, they just come to the point
  178. OLD SEERS never die, they just lose their vision
  179. OLD SEWAGE WORKERS never die, they just waste away
  180. OLD SHEETROCKERS (dry wallers) never die, they just hang around
  181. OLD SHOES MAKERS never die, they just lose their sole
  182. OLD SKIERS never die, but they go downhill fast
  183. OLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just achieve their final goal
  184. OLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just lose their kick
  185. OLD SOLDIERS never die, they just fade away
  186. OLD SOLDIERS never die, they just smell that way
  187. OLD SOLDIERS never die, young ones do
  188. OLD SOURDOUGHS never die, they just ferment away
  189. OLD SPELUNKERS never die, they just cave in
  190. OLD STATISTICIANS never die, they just get broken down by age and sex
  191. OLD STEELMAKERS never die, they just lose their temper
  192. OLD STUDENTS never die, they just get degraded
  193. OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just fall off their blocks
  194. OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just have a stroke
  195. OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just kick-off
  196. OLD SYSTEM USERS never die, they just chdir to NULL
  197. OLD TANNERS never die, they just go into hiding
  198. OLD TAPE DISPENSERS never die, they just get used up
  199. OLD TEACHERS never die, they just lose their class
  200. OLD TELEPHONES never die, they just stop ringing
  201. OLD THERMODYNAMICISTS never die, they just achieve their state -- of maximum entropy
  202. OLD TIRE TUBES never die, they just get punctured
  203. OLD TRASH never dies, they just bury it
  204. OLD TRIGONOMETRY TEACHERS never die, they just lose their identities
  205. OLD TROMBONISTS never die - they just slide away...
  206. OLD TRUCK DRIVERS never die; they just get a new Peterbilt
  207. OLD TV SHOWS never die, they just get rerun on Nickelodeon
  208. OLD TV SOAP STARS never die, they become pathetic
  209. OLD GOAL UMPIRES never die, they just get flagged down - umpires as in Australian Rules Football
  210. OLD USENETTERS never die, they just become unresponsive
  211. OLD VACATIONERS never die, they just don't come back
  212. OLD VIOLINISTS never die - they just become unstrung
  213. OLD VOICEMAIL SYSTEMS never die, they just stop answering
  214. OLD WANTS never die, they become needs
  215. OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just run out of time
  216. OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just unwind
  217. OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just wind down
  218. OLD WEATHERMEN never die, they reign forever
  219. OLD WHITE WATER RAFTERS never die, they just get disgorged
  220. OLD WOOL COATS never die, they just become mothballed
  221. OLD WRESTLERS never die, they just lose their grip
  222. OLD YACHTSMEN never die, they just keel over
  223. WALT DISNEY didn't die, he's in suspended animation