How to Send Good Bulls
Welcome to Teach Yourself Bulletin-Writing! Here are some simple rules to help you
in the gentle art of bulletin-writing.
TITLE/SUBJECT
This is very important, as it is the first thing that users will see of your bulletin.
Titles like "PLEASE READ" or "URGENT MESSAGE" are ideal, though something like
"A345/23 D cct wanted" is also quite acceptable. On no account give any clear
indication as to what the bulletin is actually about. Appeal to people's curiosity; after
all, they've got all day to browse through the bulletins!
Alternatively, you can mention someone's callsign in the title, but in a way which
implies that you are insulting them even if you aren't.
LETTER CASE
Always type in lower case, and do not use any capitals anywhere in a sentence, (not
even at the beginning), as this looks inconsistent and untidy. abbreviations like rsgb,
dti, pc etc. look much nicer in lower case.
ALTERNATIVELY, USE UPPER CASE THROUGHOUT, AS THIS CAN GIVE THE
IMPRESSION YOU ARE SHOUTING, SO WILL HAVE MORE IMPACT!
PUNCTUATION
Do not litter your bulletin with messy punctuation but just let the prose flow without
any cumbersome and unnecessary interruption there is also the added benefit that the
person reading the bull will be totally unable to pause for breath and so will continue
to read going more and more purple in the face until they foam at the mouth and fall
over backwards which you might enjoy if you don't like them.
WORD WRAP
Do avoid the temptation to neatly wrap text around at the end of the line; just carry
on typing without pressing "Return". The other guy won't mind downloading your
bulletin into a text editor or word processor so he can then set the line length to 77
characters or something like that. After all, what's the use in having all these fancy
bits of software if you can't use them?
LINE LENGTH
A exception to this rule applies if you have one of these extra special superior
terminals or micros with a 40-column display.
Then, the trick is to start a new line every 37 characters or so, and make up for it by
leaving plenty of space between paragraphs.
Short paragraphs are also pleasing.
Especially with no verbs.
This won't cause any problems for anyone wanting to print your bulletin on a printer;
all they've got to do is load it into a word processor and set it into two columns - easy!
If you want to really show off your skills, why not try and combination of word wrap
and short line lengths, to give a very appealing look which people will find really
interesting to look at. This takes some practice, so don't try this until you've got
really accomplished at some of the other effects.
LINE SPACING
A nice little trick is to use double-line spacing on all your text so that there is plenty
of room for the reader to add notes of their own after printing it out. Don't worry
about it taking up more paper, as the other guy can always turn it round and use both
sides - no problem.
SPELLING
This is verry inpotant indede, as allthogh most peeple make quiet a lot off speling
misteaks, specally when typin 'live', it takes reel feeness to make a poper job off it
and spel at leest fife words rong inn ever sentenc. No one wil mind, and in fakt most
peeple enjoy figyurin out wot the wordz where supposed too be in the ferst plaice.
GRAMMAR
Well this is a tricky one really. To boldly split infinitives is a good idea. And to start
a sentence with a conjunction is too. Sentences also look better. With no verbs.
Messing with the order word about also nice looks. It isn't terribly unlike a good idea
to use double-negatives and things of that nature.
CONTENT
No hard and fast rules here. However, it helps if you type your bulletin very last at
night, when you are tired and irritable, or when you've staggered home from the pub
after drinking eleventeen pints of fizzy lager. Don't bother to verify any information,
but shoot from the hip and tell all those wallies what you think of them - you're
entitled to your opinion aren't you? They're always having a go at you, and if there's
one thing you can't stand, it's intolerance!
EQUIPMENT
A 40-column monitor or an old TV with a fuzzy picture will do nicely. In most cases
using a word-processor is a no-no, as it tends to prevent you achieving most of the
wonderful effects I have demonstrated. Also, it's better to type 'live' so that the
text soon scrolls off the screen, and you forget what you said earlier in the bull. It
comes across as being more natural and spontaneous this way.
Well, I hope that gives you a few ideas for your own bulletins. You rarely see many of
these techniques used together, though most of us use one or two of them, such as
bad spelling. However, you do occasionally come across bulletins which employ many or
even most of these techniques, and if you come across one you will truly be in the
presence of genius!