Dealing with Computer Equipment
Rule #1
The spacebar either always sticks or doesn't work.
Rule #2
Monochrome is "in" this year.
Rule #3
"Extensive computing facilities" means a bunch of 8086 machines with
floppy drives, MDA or Hercules on a LAN.
Rule #4
Unless you want to use WordPerfect or TrueBasic, you will have to
forcibly remove the English major using one of the few 386 machines.
After all, why would he give up all that power he needs to type "Ode to
My Toejam" with WordPerfect when your final project in CS 999 is due
tomorrow?
Rule #5
A paper TTY cranking at 110 baud and a punch card reader *is*
state-of-the-art. Just ask the system administrator.
Rule #6
That mysterious "computer fee" on your bill pays for the paper for the
TTY and the sysadmin's coffee. Refuse to pay it and buy an abacus.
You'll be better off.
Rule #7
Viruses are to college computing centers as tornadoes are to trailer
parks. The phrase "disaster magnet" comes to mind.
Rule #7a
Don't stick your floppy in the slot without knowing what else has been in
there first.
Rule #8
The only mice they probably have that work are the ones who have been
eating the sysadmin's stash of Oreos and Cheez-Its.