You Know You're a World Chat Junkie If...
  1. the only time you get out is to go buy beer
  2. your neighbors have started mowing your yard
  3. your best friends have forgotten who you are
  4. you've never laid eyes on your new best friends
  5. your coffee pot is on at 3:00am
  6. the only way you will answer your kids is if they use your avatar name
  7. you've run out of blank tapes for taping your favorite shows
  8. your shelves are full of video tapes you'll probably never watch
  9. you phone everybody you know before you get on line so you won't be interrupted
  10. you've signed up for the Mavis Beacon typing course
  11. you look at somebody and you can't remember their name because it's not above their head
  12. you have visited the medical supply to buy a donut to sit on
  13. every time you go to the bathroom you say 'BRB'
  14. bathroom breaks are a real inconvenience
  15. you're really sorry you renewed your magazine subscriptions for three years
  16. you put Worlds Chat next to Air and Water in your personal Maslow's hierarchy
  17. your diary gets filled up first with Worlds dates rather than worldly ones
  18. you walk around the house in a penguin costume
  19. all you eat are Cheeseburgers and Burritos washed down with Coffee and Mountain Dew
  20. you know what aphorism means
  21. you wander around green fields looking for checker patterns
  22. you try to figure out how to get a bed stuffed through the modem
  23. you keep finishing lines with the tab key when typing up emails
  24. you find yourself saying *POOF* when leaving serious business meetings
  25. you only notice the nearest six people in shops
  26. you only see the nearest six cars on the road
  27. it's difficult taking chess pieces seriously when playing chess
  28. you are tossing up whether to get a $3,000 ISDN installed or go on a holiday - .....and the ISDN is winning out because on a holiday it's harder to get on the INTERNET!
  29. you say somebody's name and then say the word colon
  30. you walk into a room in real life and say "age check!"
  31. you try to walk through doors
  32. your girlfriend or wife doesn't speak to you anymore because ----<--<{@ (s) were on sheets of paper instead of the real thing
  33. you spend the whole day imagining new emoticons instead of getting your work done
  34. you keep WChatting even after you've signed off and gone to bed
  35. you try to squeeze through the screen to give a hug
  36. you really start to miss people you've never seen
  37. people in real life are starting to sound boring
  38. your husband is getting jealous of your computer
  39. your boss says, "All she does is talk on chat!"
  40. your Internet provider gives you an award for "Most hours spent in a month"
  41. you whistle that snappy tune they play in the halls of Worlds Chat
  42. you walk into a room and start hollering "F3F3F3" and expect to sink below the floor
  43. somebody tells you a joke, and instead of laughing you say LOL
  44. you click an imaginary stick man to begin walking
  45. you carry a white sign over your head that has your name on it
  46. you start looking for brown flannel shirts and blue jeans to wear
  47. you buy brown flannel shirts for your boyfriend/husband
  48. when you talk, your fingers are tapping out the letters in your head
  49. you attempt to mute people you don't like in real life
  50. when someone talks too much, you start shouting, "Stop! Please! No More!"
  51. you find yourself trying to correct mistakes in your word processor with CTRL-U
  52. sleep isn't something that you get some of...it's something that gets some of you...all throughout the day
  53. you to IDEAS to help your thought process, SADNESS when you're feeling down, GLEE when you're happy, FOOD when you're hungry, GEOMETRY to solve difficult problems, and TECHNOLOGY to meditate on those things that have brought you this wonderful age of enlightenment and peace....Stop! Please! No more!**** MUTE