Guide to Successful Student Life
  1. Grant money is a huge worry, but remember the government are working night and day to relieve you of it.
  2. Students financial problems are usually quite simple, - they don't have any money.
  3. The philosophy students moto: "I think, therefore I exist - I think..."
  4. Try not to have original ideas, it only leads to complications.
  5. Warning: Dates on calenders are usually closer than they appear!
  6. Remember, to copy from a book is plagiarism. To copy from many is research.
  7. If you've got the answer... ...you probably didn't understand the question.
  8. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  9. Definition of work: "What you do the night before an exam."
  10. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
  11. Remember, exams are like snot - they get up your nose.
  12. A bore: someone who gets good marks in a subject you failed.
  13. Definition of a genius: "Someone who is too clever to get a proper job."
  14. Tutors often have photographic minds: under-developed and negative.
  15. Don't let lectures interfere with your education.
  16. Try to stay out of debt, even if you have to borrow money to do so.
  17. Use your MasterCard to pay off your Visa bill.
  18. Remember, God loves stupid people, that's why he made so many.
  19. Don't take life too seriously, you're not getting out alive anyway!