20 Things Not to Say to Your Parents While at College
- Are you saying that I'm not good enough for
Jack-in-the-Box?
- Hey dad, are there any openings at your office?
- I just can't take it anymore. The pressure! The Pressure!
Aaaaaaaaaaah! (Click)
- Mom, send me some neosporin. I seem to have a lot of cold
sores.
- I'm coming out of the closet! Just kidding...hello?
Hello, anyone there?
- I don't know, I think a nipple ring is very fashion
conscience.
- Who are you again?
- Come to think of it, you're right! You're always right!
I'm not going to make any more decisions! You can just
take over my life, you manipulative bitch!
- Mom, you too can be saved.
- I need more money for my gambling ring.
- Hold on a second, I have to get rid of the body.
- I'm on page 54, right after the centerfold.
- Have you ever tried Vivarin! I mean tried a lot of it at
once! It's amazing. I wrote two papers, memorized the
Spanish to English dictionary, made sis a sweater,
invented a new way to dry laundry, and I- my, my
heart...I can't bre-
- From now on, you'll call me Mohammed.
- I'd love to talk to you, but I have more important things
in my life to do.
- Hey mom, you know how you and dad got married at 20,
well...
- I never realized how many ways you could use petroleum
jelly!
- This is my home away from home. I have new friends, and a
family here with two kids and- um, forget what I just
said.
- There's only one thing left to do. Kill the both of you!
- Man dad, there are so many fucking parties here. Hic! Are
you listening to me, you old fart??