The Farter Chart
VAIN
One who loves the smell of his own fart
AMBITIOUS
Always ready for a fart
LAZY
Just fizzles
AMIABLE
Likes to smell others' farts
PROUD
Thinks his farts are exceptionally pleasant
SHY
Blushes when he farts silently
IRREVERENT
Farts in church
SMART ALEC
Farts when ladies are present
CLEVER
Farts and coughs at the same time
SCIENTIFIC
Bottles his farts for later sniffing
STINGY
Belches to save his ass hole
TIMID
Jumps when he farts
CONCEITED
Thinks he can fart the loudest
UNFORTUNATE
Tries to fart but shits himself
FOOLISH
Suppresses a fart for hours
BEWILDERED
Can't tell his own fart from others
NERVOUS
Stops in the middle of a fart
MISERABLE
Can't fart at all
CONFUSED
Face is so much like an ass, fart can't tell which way to go
GROUCH
Grumbles when ladies fart
SNEAKY
Farts and blames it on the dog
DISAPPOINTED
Fart doesn't smell
CHILDISH
Farts and then giggles
FRESH GUY
Jumps in front of you and then farts
BIG BULLY
Farts louder than others
DUMB
Enjoys others' farts, thinks they are his own
CUTE
Smells your farts and then tells you what you were eating
WISE GUY
Farts and asks who shit
DAMNED MEAN
Farts and then pulls the covers over his wife's head
MUSICAL
Tenor or bass, clear as a bell, smells like shit and sounds like hell
ATHLETIC
Jumps in the air, farts 3 times, and kicks his heels 3 times
SLOB
Farts and stains his underwear
IMPUDENT
Farts out loud and then laughs
ENVIRONMENTALIST
Farts regularly but is concerned about the pollution
HONEST
Admits he farted but offers a good medical reason
DISHONEST
Farts and then blames the dog
THRIFTY
One who always has farts in reserve
ANTI-SOCIAL
Excuses himself and farts in private
STRATEGIC
Conceals his fart by loud laughter
INTELLECTUAL
Analyzes the smell of his neighbors' fart
WIMPY
Farts at the slightest exertion
SADIST
Farts in bed, then fluffs the covers
SENSITIVE
Farts and then starts crying
AQUATIC
Farts in bath, then breaks bubbles with toes
MASOCHIST
Farts in the bath tub and tries to bite the bubbles